So there I was. Standing in the woods, alone. Woods, Desert, work with me here… It was dusk, a beautiful time to be outside in the summer. The special dog pond (plastic blue swimming pool), green and dirty. I decided to scrub it out. Tipping it was the first challenge… I got all of the water out and washed it really really good. I hung the water sprayer in a tree, to water the trees and plants while filling up the pool. How's that for great use of water?
Before I knew it, it started getting really really dark, and I couldn't see a thing. See me there? I told you, dark.
I stumbled around, through the low hanging trees and giant girl-eating aloe plants. Up the porch and to the front door. I grabbed a flash light and headed back to turn off the water. I thought I heard that scary movie breathy sound, ch-ch-ch-ch, hah-hah-hah-hah, over and over. You know like from Friday the 13th and Halloween. Michael Meyers in the bushes???
Just then, I got this feeling, like, something magical might happen. Like, I was going to make a life altering decision. Like, my path was about to change… I wasn't scared anymore.
I had to put the flashlight down, to be able to turn the water nozzle off. As I approached the blue pool, I saw a black blob in the water. I ran in and got my camera (see, I always think of you), threw it around my neck, and ran back out. I aimed my camera, the green light flashing in the distance in order to focus. It was so dark, so I pointed and clicked, without knowing what I was taking a picture of…
I heard a loud voice, like that of James Brown say, "Kiss me Baby, Kiss me." I rattled my ears, thinking I was officially going nuts. I heard it gain, "Kiss me Baby, Kiss me." What? I was scared now. I thought, for sure there is a weirdo in the bushes. I grabbed my camera. Fumbling in the dark, trying to see what it was I had photographed…
"Lo and Behold," there he was. I had been waiting for him for 26 years. Longing… Wondering when he'd come… My mother and grandmother, telling me all about him… The moment had finally arrived, there he was. What to do????
He looked just like I thought he would… Shiny moist skin, plump and happy…. But, I couldn't do it. I just couldn't.
I didn't kiss him…
I just could not bring myself to do it. I realized then and there, that the dream, the idea, the fantasy of my Prince, was more special to me, than the Prince himself.
I was content with the dream. I will remember those words forever, "Kiss me, baby, Kiss me."
I took one last picture and walked away…. Good-bye Prince. I am sure you will find someone else to kiss your royal tush, wash your capes, massage your toes, take your white horse to the vet… I am sorry, I am just not that girl. Wipe your own crown. And, off I skipped…..
I then went inside, composed myself, and framed a few of my creations, the canvas print versions, so you could see how cute they look all framed up…The prints (unframed) can be found in my shop.
On another nut-cake note, I am having a hard time leaving the house today. I feel paralyzed and slightly Agoraphobic. Does this ever happen to you? I have so much to do, that I can't do any of it and the thought of going into town is making me sick…
My mom is right, you are a fruitcake. But God help me, I think that’s why I love you!
The Fungi sisters look sooooo good framed!
Boy, oh boy, you sure know how to set up a story!
Vanessa…you have been up to so much…having conversations with princes in disguise and framing all of that gorgeousness…and I have been here doing nothing cuz it’s too darn hot….good for you! send me some inspiration.
I love frogs!!!! I can’t believe you found that thing. I hope baby doesn’t get warts from being in that pool. Hey, I love all your new stuff. I really do. It’s perfect yet so wild and whirly.
Great story, you have a wild imagination!
That was hilarious – goodness I was worried at what you were going to find but it was only mr big ol fat frog. Oh he must have been devastated at the rejection – but I am sure he will get over it and move onto the next pool. Your prints look fantastic! Just beautiful.
Ah, Miss Arizona, you and your wild imagination – a delightful story. Just as well you let that Prince go; no doubt, he’d be more trouble than he was worth. Your art looks even more delicious framed. As for the agoraphobic moment, sometimes I have days when I don’t want to leave the apartment or see or talk to anyone else. Does that count? xo
Oh boy you made me laugh with that frog story! Your art looks fantastic framed (well we all knew it would. Agoraphobic, me, no way, I can’t wait to get out of the house, that is if I can persaude myself to get up out of bed!
miz v…loved the charming frog prince…perhaps a little sorry he got away…you could have sent him to me…the framed prints are charming…get it? prince charming and prints charming…laughing at the connection…i understand the staying in syndrome…i stayed in for almost two years remember…force yourself out…even in the yard…i don’t want to have to come get you…or maybe i do…blessings, rebecca
I’m so glad you thought better and didn’t kiss em, he was High Maintenance! What about Lovee? Isn’t he your main frog anyway?
Yes, I should be doing other things and here I am in ‘Fancy Land’.
All I can say is your prints look loverly framed!
That prince is HOT. I swear I’d have kissed him! Vanessa where is your head?
Lovely paintings on canvas and framed too!
Come see me today I wanchatoseesomethings.
I got my owl print and I LOVE it!! It’s so gorgeous and you’re very right about how well the colors do on canvas!!
I had a similar experience with a toad on a late night walk many years ago, I was wearing sandals and a toad hopped right onto the exposed part of my foot and came for a ride…
though I did not play it as cool as you, I squealed and then kicked my foot really hard and the toad flew away….
the man/boy I was with instead of being cute about it and then moving in for a kiss….
just said “wow, you’re really loud”
I think I would have been better with the toad
This is, by leaps and bounds, the best post ever! 🙂 I rescued a rather emaciated anole lizard from our patio room yesterday….he looked at me with such sad and woeful eyes…I gave him fresh water and pondered if I could, perhaps, feed him something from our pantry….alas, he crawled away into the dense micro-cosmos of our backyard….I hope he is safe and happy and meeting with his friends now!
Your prints look so lovely in their frames….of course they also look lovely out of frames….just lovely all around! 🙂
I definitely know what you mean about not wanting to go out to town!
Frog princes and sounds in the night while I am having butterfly dreams….
Your prints look great! I’m saving my shenkels…
It’s ok if you are having a nut-cake moment, I have those all the time.
My was he a big prince.I may have been a wee bit frightened.
Framing looks marveloeus dolly.
xo
I had to kiss alot of toads, before I found mine. I love the story, it is great. Yes I know how you feel. There are some days you just wanna runaway from the house, and some that you can’t drag your self out the door. I’m not going and you can’t make me!:)
i like your undies!
and if i were you i wouldn’t give the frog a big ol’ smackaroonie!
Vanessa, those imaes are stunning framed! I love how the typewriter gets to peep into my favourite image too…
And ‘art and phobias’, most certainly a perfect partner blog for ‘art and ghosts’?
hahaha!
Love it! and the toady story:)
You should have grabbed his gold ball and ran. Oh ,I have agorophobic days all the time,even an invitation from the hubs to not cook and take the whole fam out to din can’t budge me.
Ribbit. Ribbit. Ribbit.
(snicker snicker snerk!)
Hi honey suga lips 🙂 So really.. umm… were you going to town (or avoiding going to town) wearing ruffled panties? Cuz I’m just saying. I double dog dare you.
Not too sure if I’d have kissed that frog either…
see you, g
Vanessa………. I have a terrible time leaving the house – like right now for instance – day after day – get a little loopy – but I had to come over and say how much I am enjoying your work and how much you inspire me – now… maybe I can leave the house – blowing kisses to that froggie prince
xox – eb.
Oh frog kisses. Love the tales you tell, love them. Good thing you let him go, can you imagine how high maintenance a Prince would be? And as far as the agoraphobia, oh there are days I will just make any excuse not to go out into the real world. It is all so work-a-day. Remain in nest, you know?
“I realized then and there, that the dream, the idea, the fantasy of my Prince, was more special to me, than the Prince himself.”
I’m adding this to my arsenal of all-time-favorite-ever-wonderful-and-wise quotations.
I LOVE THIS! I love the whole frog story. Wonderful! You are amazing!
I hit a milestone in my Etsy store today and I’ve been told that I should buy myself a goodie. Now that I see these canvas prints framed up, I may know what to get! 🙂
Love to you, dear!
xo,
Karen Beth 🙂
I love your frog prince story, now if you had kissed him what would Mr Lovee think? (I guess you already found him)…Love Birch, Betula framed, the colours are intense!
V, you are so funny! i love it! princes are so highly over-rated…so demanding and stuffy anyway! who needs THAT!? (and yes, i do sometimes get that leave-the-house phobia too…especially on those gloomy days when it is so cozy inside, and icky out!) i love the frilly panties too! i used to want some…until i realized they would prolly make my butt look big! :}
Wonderful, just wonderful! Never pass by an opportunity to ‘almost’ kiss a frog! I just can’t stop laughing… too funny… wash your own crown… oh boy, or rather frog, I just love this!
Oh you ….
What a handsome guy!!!! You are the one he has been waiting for ALL of his life! I’ll bet that pool felt so refreshing to him…maybe you should have taken a dip with him!
Love your creations, golden stars, and pink baubles!!!!
You are crazy!!! LOL
I was seriously leaning toward the screen as I read your post,the suspence, the ending, to cute.
When I was 13, I watched Nightmare on elm street at a friends house. By the time it was over it was dark and I had to walk home, 6 blocks away, all by myself in the dark. So I left and as I reach the end of her road I looked at the street sign and it had totally slipped my mind but she lived on elm street. Talk about a pounding heart. I ran home like I was on fire but that just made me feel like something was running after me even faster. But I lived. Your prints look really tasty and yummy. Someone will be lucky to get there hands on it.
It’s getting so dang hard to tell a prince from a toad, isn’t it? Great story!!
dearest darling girl, so very sorry to have neglected you. My schedule…sigh. Well, you can’t even imagine.
Now do tell Mr. Lovee to stop skinny dipping like that!
Lody! I think you must be the funnieset twisted person I know!` I loveeeee it!
sorry about those typos..I swear I am not drinking! That should read ..LORDY…and funnieSt!
ok, for sure you should have a book deal by now, your story telling is the best. have you ever thought of writing and illustrating a children’s book? you’d be so good at that, it would be treasured by little girls and saved to pass on to their own little girls years later.