When you grow up in a tiny Mexican border town, there are many things that are the norm in your world. Most everyone goes to the same Catholic church and celebrates the same holidays. The culture is shared amongst the town. There is a norm that, as a child you don't realize is only the norm to your town (and other areas that share such traditions and beliefs), and not the whole world. A perfect example of this is Day of the Dead, known as El Dia de los Muertos (All Souls' Day)
On November 2nd people flock to the old cemetery in the town I grew up in, where their loved ones who have passed on, are buried. Marigolds and flowers of all kinds fill the area, and people tidy up grave sites. (November 1st is All Saints Day and November 2nd, All Soul's Day ~ Dia de los Muertos).
Many people have altars in their homes as well, to house statues and photos honoring their religious beliefs and/or memories of loved ones that have passed. In Southern Arizona, you will see shrines and altars built on to the front of people's homes, in parks, on the side of the road and many other places.
I have great love for these shrines and altars and have shared many throughout the years here on my blog. Here, here, here and here are a few– and others I can't find right now 😉
I personally have little shrines at both of my houses, reminding me of my beliefs, my heritage and those I love who have passed away as well as those who are still with us. I am reminded every day, and I love that feeling.
With that, I will take you through my jasmine arbor and into my little courtyard garden at the city house for this year's Dia de los Muertos…
I light my candles and sit in silence, embracing the beauty…
I fill my giant candelabra with fresh flowers, one by one, as thoughts fill my mind.
I think of my Aunt Pat (My Mother's sister) who we lost a few years ago. I think about how Thanksgiving is coming, and how she loved to pick at the turkey while either my Uncle Pelon (brother) or my Aunt Denise (sister) were trying to carve the turkey. We used to think that was so terribly annoying of her, picking at the turkey. Now, I would love to have her here, picking at the turkey all she wants. I learn about the trivial things we choose to make issues out of, and I let them go…
I light a candle for her…
I think about my maternal Great-Grandfather who came here from France. How I would love to sit and ask him a million questions. I think about his sister who I am told I look like. I wonder if there is a whole flock of people in France that I might look like, that are long lost relatives…
I think about my Grandpa Valencia who has been gone since I was a teen. I can still smell and feel his garage/shop. Car paint, paint thinner and cigarettes. I see his kind gentle smile quite vividly. I might be wrong, but I feel like he was trapped in his little world, and would go into his workshop to escape. I wonder if he had the mad passion for freedom of mind, like I do. I feel lucky for the chance to pursue my dreams, and I get a lump in my throat, wishing he could have tasted a bit of the freedom I feel…
I think about my 3 grandparents who are alive and kicking and give vast thanks. I light candles for my parents and my siblings. For the man I love, and for our furry babies. And while I remember those that have passed away, I am thankful that so many of my loved ones are still with us…
I dedicate this post to memory of all of my loved ones who have passed away, as well as yours. May the memories we hold of them be vivid and beautiful…
Lovely Stephanie of Rodrigvitz Style is hosting her annual Dia de Bloglandia event today.
Details about joining and beautiful photos and shrines are over at her wonderful virtual Mango Studio.
Building a shrine in the memory of someone you have lost can be incredibly healing and therapeutic. You don't have to be a part of any religion to build a memorial as such. So perhaps, building a shrine might help your heart heal, if you are feeling the pain of loss, or if you simply want to have a special physical place to hold the memories of loved ones…
See you very soon!
🖤, V
SOoo beautiful, Vanessa!
Hello Vanessa… how beautiful, not just the photos but your sentiments as well… I wonder many of those same things… we too honor Dia de los Muertos… my sister creates the most beautiful shrines… I gathered the marigolds for them this year… I will forward your link to her…she has a collection of Muertos that is unbelievable… she has a gorgeous Native Ameican shop at http://www.indiansummer.com/… Thank you for sharing such a beautiful, personal story… Bisous… Julie Marie
Oh Veevala:
“I can still smell and feel his garage/shop. Car paint, paint thinner and cigarettes. I see his kind gentle smile quite vividly. I might be wrong, but I feel like he was trapped in his little world, and would go into his workshop to escape. I wonder if he had the mad passion for freedom of mind, like I do. I feel lucky for the chance to pursue my dreams, and I get a lump in my throat, wishing he could have tasted a bit of the freedom I feel…”
….and thats when i started to cry.
But its Beautiful!
Your love – I feel it, I know he does too. He is free.
Your family is lovely, thank you for sharing (turkey picker and all) 🙂
XOXOXOXOX
PS THERES EDDIE G! muchas gracias.
Oh Vanessa, De-Lovely. Nothing more to add. Beautiful. All my love to you, Deb
Shrines are a beautiful tradition and yours is especially lovely – but not as lovely as your sentiments for those dearly departed, as well as those near and dear. I’m thinking you should come to France to meet those long-lost relatives, preciosa! xoxox
That is such a lovely post Vanessa. Beautiful and important too. Thanks! Sarah xx
Simply elegant. Thank you.
Kathy in Chicago
Dear Ms Fanciful,
Your words make your family members come alive, they are so much a part of who you are today.
thank you so much for sharing your stories with us…everyday, but especially today, to be part of dia de bloglandia.
x..x
steph
Oh sweetest V… That made me cry and my heart well up in my chest…. I love my loved ones with such huge emotion, and you too my little blog-sphere friend. You are able to help us stop time for just a second and REALLY SEE and APPRECIATE! I love you!!! Chrissi
Thank you.
What a Wonderful Young woman you are …With a Heart filled with Love…
gorgeous – just gorgeous
you and your blog are such a delight!
You are such a lovely story teller Ms. V! Love your loving descriptions of your family!
Jamie 🙂
Beautiful reflections.
What a beautiful post and tribute Vanessa!
Such a sweet memories. I loved reading about your Aunt Pat and your grandfather, and the photos of your canlelit garden were lovely.
That was excellent. I love the way you told us your stories as you lit the candles. As Kathy in Chicago said, “Elegant.” I totally agree. Thank you for sharing your wonderful stories of family. Happy Dia De Los Muertos and have a great week.
Its so funny how we take our traditions for granted…I too too am Catholic & today sermon’s at mass Father Frank spoke of All Saint’s Day & his grandmother that had passed on…it brought sooo many memories back into my mind of my “Grandma” my parents, and my guardians who raised me since I was a child…so in honor of my Grandma Anne, today – I joined the “St. Anne’s Society – known as the Annies” its a group of lovely ladies of all different ages & nationalities that get together and do things to better the church, the community & to build friendships – too cool – I just know that she would have loved the group… I love Shrines – I have two of my own in my little home…ahhh memories its a good thing..Happy Dia De Los Muertos!..and as my Grandma would say “God Love Ya” & my favorite she said just to me (I think) “See Ya Later, Alligator” and I would reply “After While Crocodile”…Peace 2 U Marlene
We had our second Day of the Dead parade up here today…and it was a wonderful pleasure to be with everyone and walk to where people had made and displayed little altars…so festive, so beautiful, and such a wonderful way to celebrate life and death all in the same breath! I was thinking during this celebration of who I was missing, and it was like they were right there with me…dancing along, and it made me smile and pause to love everyone that is still here with me…
Dear Vanessa,
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us. We know are loved ones are never really gone from us and never are they closer than when we remember them and why they were, and continue to be close to us.
Wishing you a beautiful day,
Betty
what a touching post…and your photos are amazing!!!
Vanessa, it`s always a journey and an adventure on your blog…just LOVE it!!!!
What a beautiful tribute! Thanks for sharing this with us!
oh my
your photos reach inside
and warm all the corners of my heart…
🙂
and
then
this—>
“”May the memories we hold of them
be vivid and beautiful..””
you send out such a heartfelt intention,
making me glow golden with the hope
that
my memories have settled in to stay…
🖤🖤 🖤
It is interesting to read about different traditions. Your shrine is beautiful with the madonna and candelabra. In sweden we celebrate this weekend in a similar way as in Mexico though were not catholics. We go to the cemetary in the dark evening and light thousands of candles for our dead relatives, it is beautiful. Have a wonderful day /linnea-maria
What a beautiful and touching post! Thank you for sharing such heartfelt memories. Sincerely, Theresa
Touching the shadows of those long past is a very special experience. To remember is the best!! It reminds us to enjoy those that are still with us. And to embrace each day we are given.
Thanks hun for a special post!
Hugging you
SueAnn
What a beautiful post! I learned a bit about this holiday tradition in high school, but had never met anyone who celebrated it. It was wonderful to hear your version. 🙂
This is a very beautiful post indeed, Vanessa. We do celebrate All Saints’Day and All Souls’Day here in France. It is a sad period when everybody goes to the churchyard with lots of flowers, mourning over the lost beloved ones. I say “sad” because I have had many times the opportunity to spend similar days in the French West Indies (Guadeloupe) and their “Jour des Morts” is a very happy day indeed. The graveyards are lit with thousands of candles, people come with food and drinks and music to spend the night with the departed ones and tell them that life goes on and that we think of them; there are long talks with relatives whom you see on that very day only, there are songs and music, there is food shared … a very different atmosphere altogether from the atmosphere here in France. I once was there with an old West Indian lady who had lost 2 husbands. The first grave was in a small village and she had no problem in finding it; it was very different for the second one. It was in the large city graveyard. In the West Indies, the graveyards are not built with straight lanes in between the graves as they are in France or perhaps in the States, but the graves are scattered any and everywhere there is room with hardly any name on them. Anyway… I was with this old lady and, after having gone here and there, we stopped on a grave and she said:”that’s it!”. She was a little surprised because her children and relatives were not yet there. We waited for a while when she suddenly realised that it was the wrong grave!! her husband’s grave was a little higher up the hill!! We laughed a lot about this mistake. Impossible to imagine such a thing in our graveyards in France!! And I liked this mistake … after all,it doesn’t matter where you stop, our dear departed ones are with us wherever we go, even on the wrong grave!
I will add that I have never been on my mother’s grave, nor my sister’s. My father was incinerated … For me, they are inside and around me for ever, in the air I breathe, in the trees, in the flowers, in the birds, everywhere… but , I will light a candle for them tonight and think of your lovely words.
Thank you, Vanessa.
This is such a beautiful post, Vanessa.
Thank you for sharing the joy of life and the joy of passing on to the next journey of our souls, as we all have many loved ones who have continued on to the next ‘here after’ journey. They are still with us in spirit and in our hearts.
Hugs
Very lovely and a reminder not only of those we love, but of the love for life in all its forms.
You always do this so well.
XO
Chris
When I was fourteen my mother passed away because of cancer. That was 38 years ago. Wow, even now I can feel tears in my throat. Back then people didn’t talk about death or cancer. Me and my little sister were told not to talk about her because my father had re-married soon afterward and it might make his new bride uncomfortable…… Today, after reading your post, I am going to make a shrine in my home in her memory…
thank you.
A beautiful post. I had a personal ritual I do on Halloween or the day after to honor my ancestors. I have been inspired by all the beautiful altars I have seen. Maybe to a bigger and grand one for next year.
I am so glad I happened upon your blog and this lovely post. I let all saint’s day pass without making an altar but your post makes me realize it is never too late. Thanks. Your tribute to your loved ones is very moving.
Vanessa, thank you so much for posting about this. Yesterday I preached about how we Anglos MUST come to embrace the darker aspects of life, including our lost beloved ones, or pay the price….I specifically mentioned the healthier Latin attitude of embracing the darker aspects of life, including El Dio de los Muertos.
This year my dead people have felt particularly close, and I loved having the 3 days (Halloween, or All Hallows’ Eve, All Saints, and All Souls) to honor my beloveds. I’m very touched by your post.
I love your dogs and your new puppy is just beautiful. I just got a new puppy for my birthday from my children and I love him so much. He has changed my life so much for the better. The alter is lovely and you have inspired me to try this. Have a great rest of the week.
i love the candle altar behind the statue of mary- it’s so beautiful!
goregeous altar for a garden- and even your photographs are amazing.
I feel Dia de los Muertos is a wonderful observance. I wrote about it on my blog, too. Yours is simply lovely, and moving. Peace.
Beautiful traditions & beautiful photos, as well! I’m sending a link to your site to my DD, as she has your exact Mother Mary statue in her garden. She needs to see what you’ve done with it!!
Por que no:)