I went to bed with a world of thoughts on my mind. I tossed and turned. And finally, at 4:18 a.m. I said, forget this, and got out of bed. I went up and hugged Matty and Miles and let them out. Then, I crept into the studio. Closed the door between my world and the house world, and flipped on the twinkle lights.
I normally sleep so soundly.
I don’t like being woken up, unless it is one of my furry loves. I will wake up if they need me. But mostly I sleep like a cherub on a cloud.
That is, unless I have something on my mind.
Then I fret.
Oh, I fret.
Do you find that anything on your mind that might be worrying you seems so much grander by night?
And yet, with daylight it seems, not so grand?
Going into the studio in the dark hour morning felt so sneaky. Like, there were secrets I would uncover. Chatting between little creatures, or something.
I heard the neighborhood rooster.
What a wonderful sound.
Comforting.
Then a couple of loud birds.
Matty barking.
I got to work.
I have so so so many things I am working on.
Plus, so many ideas and things I want to bring to life.
I wish I had a twin.
A helper twin.
Wouldn’t that be interesting?
I have been working away.
Trying to fit all the things into one day, that I want to do.
Sculpting, painting, cooking, gardening, making, taking, visiting, breathing, cleaning, laundry, organizing my other house stuff into the country world – phewey.
It is a funny balancing act.
Doing the things you “want” to do makes a whole lot of work and busy days.
And yet, I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I have all these garden tricks I have been up to.
Timing myself (so I don’t stay outside all day, and get nothing done inside) – getting ready for the very hot summer not too far away.
(although we are having a strange cool snap for 4 days, which is lovely)
Preparing the vegetable garden, so it can mostly water itself.
No, I don’t have to do any of these things.
Garden etc.
But, in some strange way, I need to do them.
I want to do them.
And then, there is the thing that kept me awake…
A possible little change around here in my wee household, on the horizon.
Possible.
Probable.
Uncertain.
Is it the right thing to do?
Well, we will all know for sure in a couple of days.
But for now, I carry it in my secret heart.
Filling my mind with thoughts.
Having me tip-toeing around at 4 a.m.
I have so many creatures, and faces, and girls who love to bake coming to life.
Maybe I should wake up everyday much earlier?
I will have to in summer for sure.
But, I feel like I have a whole new lease on my day now.
Chatting here.
Snooping around my own studio.
Seeing if I might spy anything super magical?
Then I catch a glimpse of this little shelf below.
Fairy dancing free.
A teacup filled with glitter.
And, an “admit one” ticket…
And for some reason, that breathes some sort of exciting possibility into the day.
What is to come lingers.
But I have questions…
Are you a worry wart?
Fretful at all?
I can be super calm and beyond practical.
And then, a part of me can be a huge worry wart every once in a while, and totally irrational (although the worry wartedness has slowly gotten less and less as I have gotten older and learned lots of lessons).
Then, I have this little voice right in the center, that mediates everything.
Weighs things.
And makes decisions.
Or tries.
Mister Lovee, being a calm and collected sort (unless you irritate him with sheer annoying nonsense, and make his temper hit the roof) has really taught me not to worry about a lot of things. My old job used to put me in stomach pain knots of anxiety, and he taught me how to let a lot of that go at the time.
How, worrying about things is pointless, until you have something to really worry about.
I asked him one day, “how can you tell me not to worry, when you obviously worry about almost nothing, and just go with the flow, ride the wave….?”
And he said, “I used to worry all the time, and stay up all night thinking about work and life and this and that. Then I learned it was pointless. Worrying is a waste of time and energy. Worry when you have to worry, but not before, when there is no reason to.”
I felt so much better after he told me that, he used to worry a lot, and now didn’t because he learned that worrying gets you nowhere.
Still, it is hard to implement sometimes isn’t it?
I am not much of a worry wart these days (last few years), but if and when I get to worrying, oh my goodness! I can be extra worry warty 😉
(Oh look at the time now – I have to run down the bend! Sorry, no time to spell/grammar check, forgive me)
Love, V
ps: Look who just came in and attacked me. They act like they have not seen me in years, every single morning, or after a couple of hours. I got punched in the lip by one, and the other tried to jump on my head, all in the name of love 🙂
It’s a mad house I tell you.
A mad house.
pss: Happy Friday the 13th!!
Matthew 6:27 (when you see Matty, think of it!)
“Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”
A mad house and you wouldn’t have it any other way! I know the feeling.
Wishing you a bliss filled day.
I am a worry wart too. I couldn’t fall asleep last night because I was too busy worrying about how on earth I was going to get everything done for school that needed to get done. (I have been sick, so I’ve had to stay home, and although it’s been lovely, I have to make up so many tests and quizzes and, and…)
Eventually I just thought, “Whatever” and went to bed. But I agree with Lovee–don’t worry till you have to. And really, when I woke up, I realized there wasn’t really anything to worry about in the first place. Silly.
Have an amazing day! Can’t wait to hear what news is on the horizon! xoxo
Same thing with me, Vanessa. I could be so tired and so looking forward to sleep and then that one little thing that worries me or is on my mind slips in and I’m up. It’s funny, I had a job that gave me stomach pains from anxiety, too {a/k/a IBS}. We’ve moved and I left that job {thankfully!}. Your studio looks so magical with your twinkle lights on. I think it would be soothing to the soul to come in there with worries at 4:18 a.m. : )
Ah your shelves are so lovely and inspiring. What a blissful place. I hope all is well dear Vanessa, and that you knock this worrying habit quickly. It will literally make you ill if you let it. Trust that what happens is what’s meant to be… whatever it is.
Finally looked up your blog and bookmarked it. 🙂 I have a print of yours framed and hanging in my kitchen and think about ‘you’ (who I don’t know at all) often…wondering what kind of fanciful adventures you’re creating.
Have a splendid day!
Vanessa….
I feel your worry. I’m older than you by a bit, and I still haven’t learned to keep my worrying under control. The older I get, the more constant my worry seems. I rarely sleep through the night anymore.
I am trying so, so, so hard to learn how to stop worrying, but so far…nothing has worked.
I hope that whatever is keeping you up at night and causing the worry turns out to be a good thing!
xoxo
Kim
Gerushia’s New World
It may be a mad house but it is a happy and loving house.
We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t worry. Your studio is a safe haven where one can escape it all. Hope you have a wonderous day.
Wow, Vanessa if the weather is nice and u got an hour go take yourself to the garden and have a nap session on your hammock. When I get to feeling like you are I go to the garden and take in all in sites sounds and smells and allow the warmth to penetrate my thoughts as if to melt away the feelings of uncertainty. Then a thankful prayer for the beauty surrounding me and then I try to carry out my day by Moving Forward and yes, hugs from the furry ones always helpful. Sending u a Hopeful an empathetic thoughts your way <3 & 😉
Nervous Nelly, that’s me. I hope you find some peace very soon. What helps me when I worry is this thought: I’ve already lived this life and died, and I’ve just come back to experience and enjoy it one more time. Silly, I know, but it helps. Much love to you!
OK admission time… Queenie loves a good mystery and so I’m all on pins nad needles regarding… “A possible little change around here in my wee household, on the horizon.”
I truly hope all your hopes and dreams come true for this little change.
For me I try put a positive light on worry and magically transform worry to excitement. Granted at times its near impossible but when I force myself to look at all the possible positive aspects about that which is worrisome I can point my frame of mind and reference in a better direction.
Have a great day.
Always, Queenie
Lovely Jenn, I so agree. Worrying is no good. Luckily I dont
do it too often 😉 But sometimes you just haveto get it off your
chest and share, you know what I mean? Thanks for always being so
sweet!!
Just wiggle when you worry
And you worry no more.
All those worries,
Just fly out the door.
Wiggle over here,
ANd wiggle over there.
Give those worries a
Long last stare.
Waa-laa and whoppie,
Toodle de do,
Worries are just
Telling you there is
SOmething you need to do.
Wiggle in the morning and
The afternoon.
Wiggle to the garden to the ole worry tune.
Flowers and light grab it rt up,
Toasting with the golden cup.
From a professional worry wart (Moi), good luck with the decision and sleep tight tonight!
XO,
Lisa
If worries were wishes I’d…sleep with the fishes??? no that’s not right. :p I tell ya, Veevala, I got the worries, and if ever i let it niggle (thats what they do–wiggle and niggle at me) then i COULD be down for full blown panic.
HA…but Cowboy knew this and told me the very same thing Lovee told you –there’s no point in it and no good to come of it, so don’t.
Of course what he REALLY did was worry for me. :p
So now i have to find my way…you know what i do? I color all the sheep-you know the ones that are supposed to be jumping over the fence so you can count them and fall asleep? Well, my sheep all have different colored fleece. And some sparkle. And some are rainbows, and i disco balled one the other night, all sparkley, and he started playing the Staying Alive song by the Bee Gees……and i forgot what i was worrying about.
XOXOXviiiXOXOXOX Roostah
Can’t wait to hear your potential news! I can’t wait to see your finished cake ladies! I think I see doll faces too….I am so excited I won’t be able to sleep tonight!
Now *I* shall be the one lying awake in bed this night, wondering what secret Vanessala is hiding in her heart! Ahhh, but I shall be patient.
I love the peeks at your studio at night. They are mysteriously peaceful and beautiful. So much to behold.
I hope you will talk to us again soon and that you will be able to come to a definite conclusion about whatever it is you are trying to figure out–and I hope you sleep well tonight!
Miss G.G. Pinkster – BE STILL MY HEART!!! yes yes, what was I
thinking? I must wiggle indeed!!! Brilliant dear friend, simply
brilliant!! Like, wiggle to some David Bowie, and then, voila, you wiggle
the worry away. I get it, I get it. Golden cups clanking!!! Oh, just
marvelous!
Yup…the darkest hour is just before dawn. I’m a worry wart too.
I have learned to let go of worrying this past year! But a worrywart I still am sometimes if it is worth worrying about! I hope your worries are over! So glad I stopped by in your magical world! =)
If something bothers me enough to keep me awake at night I will stay up to pray about it until I am able to fall asleep. I love the pictures!
first I’d like to say I am so glad I am back visiting your place… beeing a wild wack worry wart kept me away for a while & also made me sick… but I’ve come to learn what Mister Lovee has been giving you great wisdom on how & why it’s wise not to worry…
as I frantically pace around the cottage in a nervous till way.. cause so much will be going on here today at “cRAzY daIsY cOtTAgE” from painting of the picket fence, to going over the me little garden with a friend, to letting go of things that are taking up space, to taking the pup boyz to get a hair cut (they have golden locks that need a trim) to dinner with friends but most of all to stop and BREATHE and dance with my puppies (my Wheezer really knows how to do the puppy jive & Toby well he’s more of a swing kinda of guy)
so as I release things that would bring me a worry and dance & sing & buzz around… you can just call me a “wILd wACkY wITtY wHImSIcAL wONdeRfUl gAl” oops look at the time ~ have to go…
may everyone have a worry free day and just enJOY everything that comes their way… have a honey of a day everyone! ;O) xox
Love seeing photos of your workspace – it’s so inspiring!
My daughter (the toddler that loves watching your dog videos) had an Easter Tea Party and we used some of your egg puppet printables for favors for all the little girls that came. I know I always love seeing what other people do with things I create so I just thought you might like to see how we used them – here’s a link to the photos if you would like to see: http://inspiredbyfelicity.blogspot.com/2012/04/felicitys-easter-tea-party.html
Jen, I do too!!! That is exactly what I did. I pray and pray
and pray – sometimes I pray myself right into heaven – or what heaven looks like
to me – and I feel a big gentle hand soothing me to sleep, gently touching the
side of my head. Or when I have a nightmare, I get to praying right
away. For sure. I so agree with you, it works. Love, V
Marlene, there you are!!!!!! Oh, we missed you!!! If we had
known you had been out there having a dozzy of a time, why, we would have sent
the fairy brigade. But, so glad you are well, and dancing with your
boys!!! Wonderful to see you!!Oh yay!!
Rhonda Rooooo!!!!!!
Worrying is praying for what you don’t want. Send your mental eneries in the opposite direction and thank the universe as if what you want has already happened.
Hear Hear Auntie Bliss ;))))
Barbara, you are so right. I wouldnt have it any other way, tee
heee!! I love it!
Not only that the troubles don’t let me sleep sometimes, but at some nights even if I manage to fall asleep, they keep waking me up.
Mr. Lovee has a lot of wisdom. I used to be in a job that gave me tons of stress – in fact, I had to go to a specialist it made me THAT ill. Finally, I had enough and left – with the support of my hubby, who told me it just wasn’t worth sacrificing my health. And he told me the same thing when I decided to only work part-time so I could try and focus again on my art. 🙂 It is good to have an amazing support system behind you. 🙂 xoxo
Thanks mIzZ V… I so missed buzzin around…now I just need to get myself back in the swing of entering in my blOZ… but till then I will be visiting often… thank you for letting us all in and taking a glimpse of your magical, sweet, kind, loving & enchanting world… Have a honey of a night ~ sweet dREaMs ;O) xox
Marlene, you are always so sweet and lovely. Its so wonderful to see
you buzzing around again with your great energy!!!
I worry too and my dear Hubbs says the very same thing, “Worry when you Have to worry, but not until then.”