Little Orphan Annie.

I had hoped to sit here and write you the most wondrous tale on Sunday.  I didn’t share details for fear of jinxing the whole thing a couple days ago.

You see, the thing is, I fell in love.

I fell in love with a girl who was recently adopted by someone we know.

When she was first adopted she wouldn’t let her new dad pet her, but when she saw me, she ran to me and loved me right away.  A stranger to her I was, but she loved me in a split second, like I had known her my whole life.

Annie.

Oh Annie Banannie I would sing to her.

How I love yooooooooouuu!!

I took Mister Lovee over there, bawling and saying you won’t believe who she reminds me a little of.

White spot on the chest too.

I know you can’t replace one love for another.

I am not crazy like that.

Nor, do I want to attempt to do that.

But, there was something about her, that reminded me of my beloved Baby.

Something.

Lots of things.

Like, the first time I met Baby, it was the same as with Annie.

Plus –

Those eyes in honey color, those ears flopped over, that white spot on her chest.

I went home and cried.

That was over a month ago.

My broken heart that was all stitched up slowly opened one stitch at a time, as I remembered Baby, through Annie.

Baby…

(Baby, below)

But then, I feel like I have a whole other heart, that loves Matty and Miles the same as I loved Baby.  Crazy love amounts.  It’s weird, I can’t describe it.

Anyhow….

Lovee said, I will talk to our friend, and see if he would be willing to part with Annie, how’s that?

But then…..

The next day I heard that, Annie had run off while they were hiking and after endless searches she couldn’t be found.

Her owner went back again and again searching, and nothing.

But, he kept searching.

He was devastated.

And, so was I.

Weeks went by, and nothing.

Then, some people called and said, they had Annie.

So, she was returned to her home, so happy to be back.

One day last week, I was visiting Annie through a gate, loving her, talking to her.  Telling her all sorts of tales, when her owner came out.

I explained to him that I loved her beyond words.

That, I wished she could live with me.

He had also just adopted a 6 week old puppy, so he was very busy with her and other life things, and was thinking Annie might have to find another home.

(other details I am leaving out)

He said, well……..

Hmmmmm.

Thinking….

Well, ya know…

If you want, if you love her that much, why don’t you take her to your place, and see how it goes?

Really???

Really??????

He said, ya, well, I would be real sad, but you two really seem to have something.

I ran home, and Mister Lovee said yes.

We would get her the next day.

Then I went to bed and fretted up a storm.

All of a sudden, from one moment to the next…

Something felt weird.

Something felt heavy.

Could we really include another member in our house?

Two furs fit in bed perfectly.

But what about 3?

Would the boys like her?

We take our fur parenting job sooooooo seriously.

Crazy seriously.

The rhythm of our two furs and two humans family is incredibly scrumptious.

Perfect.

Delicious.

Wonderful lives us 4 together, in a perfect balance.

Had I thought about that?

Keeping another pup healthy and fed and happy, could I do it?

I woke up at 4 a.m. and wrote to you.

I felt so much better.

Then I got dressed and went to pick up Annie.

Annie saw me and jumped into my arms.

She didn’t look back.

She was so happy to be with me.

Her and I walked home, together.

In love.

A connection so good.

And then………..

We got home to the Matty Miles team.

And they were like, oh no nelly!!!

Who in the heck is that?

Are you mad?

Are you insane?

Get the heck out of here, on the double!!

We tried to get them to stop for a second with the aggression.

But they were not having it.

They were dead serious when they meant, get her out of here.

It was scary.

They all fought.

I felt so dumb.

What was I thinking?

No one would calm down, and the whole thing was awful.

All of a sudden the whole scene seemed so clear, and I felt really naive.

Did I really think Matty and Miles, the most spoiled loves ever, were going to be like, “Oh sure, let her come live here on our land, no problem.”

When things got really rough, Annie and I left.

We walked back to her house.

Her dad had said she could certainly come back if things didn’t go well.

When she saw her house she took off running.

I opened her gate and she barreled inside, jumping around full of glee.

She wanted me to play with her.

At her house.

She loves her home and her dad and sister.

Thump self on head.

What was I thinking?

Ugh, I am such a numbskull I thought.

When I got home, Matty and Miles jumped all over me.

Thankful that I was alone.

My friends and I have had such a good time integrating puppies into our world of grown dogs.  But full grown dogs with other full grown dogs?  Well, not so easy.  Have you had success as such?

My friend said we should have met at a neutral place, and she was so right.

Alas, Annie is back at home with her owner and her baby sister.

They are happy to have her back.

When I saw her yesterday and today she was ecstatic to see me.

So, I suppose, I will have to love her as a visitor.

I was so sad that Annie couldn’t live with us.

But both parties were prepared that that might happen.

Mostly, I had opened this strange well of emotion again about Baby.

I am not sure how all that happened.

Why it created so many feelings as such.

But it did.

However, I am so in love with Matty and Miles, and Lovee too.

And they all reminded me that the the rhythm of our family is so amazing, and so good.

Just as it should be.

I think my fretting was a natural gut instinct that something was not right.

As my mom says, always always always follow your gut instinct.

Be fiercely loyal to it.

Never waver on that.

And always lock your car doors the second you get in 🙂

So, that’s the tale.

My pups are my world.

I love fur.

I know, you must think I am mad.

And, well, I probably am.

Even though, I don’t think I am.

Which, might be why I probably am.

But, maybe not.

🙂

I just love too much.

And, to me –

Dogs are not just dogs.

No siree.

Dogs are the bestest loves, and tenderest members of the family.

 

 

ps:  random thoughts on my mind updated a few days after writing the above post.

One thing I know is that I adore Matty and Miles in a way I can’t describe.  I want them to have the most amazing, best, full and beautiful life possible.  And, they do have a pretty darned good life.

My journey with Matty (a 2 year old male whose full name is Matisse, but we call him Matty) has been very intense.  He was the most scared untrusting 8 week old puppy I have ever met.

It took him 15 days to even make any noise that resembled a bark, after we brought him home.

He would cower and shake in fear.

But we handled him with love and care and patience.

And he slowly started to realize that he was safe with us.

We made him a little house under a table on the porch, next to where Mister Lovee sits and read his newspaper, with 3 sides closed.  His little safe place, and he loved it.  In fact, the table is not enclosed anymore, but it is still his safe place.  He lets Miles go in there and nap from time to time.

So, when I all of a sudden became worried about changing our family, I kept coming back to my dear Matty.

What was change going to do to him?

The intense process of pulling Matty out of fear when we first got him, took me over a year to begin to overcome.  A year of working with him every single day.  Teaching him not to be afraid of stairs or doors, or us.  Showing him what love was.  Being intensely patient, and loving him so much that I wanted to help him change his outlook, and have a good stress free life.

His puppy beginnings before we met him were obviously not good.  He feared everyone and everything.  Bringing him out of his shell was so so so much work.  But I wanted to do it, it was all I longed to do, and love masked the work.  I didn’t even see it as work at all.

Now I look back, and I am unsure how I had the wherewithal to do it.  I never questioned wanting to do it.  I never fretted or was concerned.

I was calm, and the whole thing came naturally.

When we adopted Miles (5 weeks old), the same thing.

I never fretted.

I was calm and it all came naturally.

Matty didn’t growl at Miles once.  He accepted him as though they had been brothers from the beginning.

And so, I find myself back at the vast importance of following your gut instinct.

I thought the boys would adore having a sister.

But their reaction, and Annie’s reaction, taught me so very much.

I also feel intensely loyal to Matty and Miles.

I would never do anything that would make them unhappy.

Matty has come so very far.

He is still quirky, curious and strange, and hates strangers.

But he and I, he and Lovee, and he and Miles have come so far.

Miles can get along with just about anyone. (although he didn’t adore Annie)

But Matty, Matty is my sensitive unusual baby.

And I realize, I want him to be as happy as he is, and as balanced as he can be.

I don’t want to rock that world.

My job I feel, is not to rock his world in a bad way.

As Mister Lovee says –

“You are everything to Matty.

He loves you like he loves no one else.

And no one would have the patience and understanding that you have with him.”

So – our meeting with Annie brought so many things to light.

It didn’t happen in vain.

Nothing does, does it?

All I want is for my furry babes to be happy as can be.

And they seem to be.

So…

 I have observed, watched, and I have learned.

Boy have I ever.

My heart is so full of love for my tiny family of two furs and one human – it can bring me to tears.

Life is a funny place.

Thanks so much, for sharing thoughts with me, and letting me share them with you.

Love, Vanessa