I had so many things I wanted to say today…
Like, how my heart almost burst (still bursting) when I saw so many familiar friends in the last post. I don't know what I had thought? In some way I thought that everyone had drifted off into the ethernet and turned into glitter.
That, I had bored my friends into oblivion.
To know you are there peeking in makes all the difference, it really does. Not to sound silly or melodramatic, but seriously, thank you for that.
I got up this morning, paint and sparkles still in my hair from late night painting, and did all my chores.
Whined a little in my mind about wanting a day off – about the long hot summer. Felt sorta wilty from trying to recover from a busy week in Mister Lovee's world, which made both worlds insane.
Got my lawn mower going, love that thing.
Mowed weeds.
Took a shower.
Then, I sat down at my computer.
Quickly, everything seemed frivolous after reading about the Colorado shootings.
It's in these moments, when I feel sick in my belly imagining the chaos of lives lost, and lives turned upside down – where I stop. Think. Breathe. Feel, imagine. Grieve for people I don't even know.
And, somehow…
Everything else I thought I wanted to say and share, just simply doesn't matter.
I feel silent.
Sad for others.
Prayerful.
Quiet.
Those moments in life, that shake you.
That jolt you.
That turn your world inside out.
Those are such intense inexplicable times, aren't they?
And so today, all I can do is think about others, and hope for them…
This happened the other day, as I looked up at the sky after the rains…
Just hopes and prayers and thoughts for others, for today…
That is how it feels in my heart.
Love, Vanessa
🖤
ps: Giveaway results etc, will be in the next post.
Thanks for this. I have friends that I haven’t heard from yet, and some I have. I have friends who had family in the theatre, luckily they are safe. It is a sad day for all of us.
Vanessa…
I felt the same as you when I woke up and read the news online. I just can’t imagine such a hideous thing.
My thoughts and prayers are with the victims and their families.
xoxo
Kim
Gerushia’s New World
I also felt sad…what is this world coming to? My thoughts went to prayer…wish we all could do more for the victums, families and friends.
peace to you in your distress….we over here are so sorry for the end of what should have been a fun day.
All I can say Miss Vanessa is that my heart is breaking as well, once again, for all those who suffer today for someone who apparently had lost ALL HOPE, FAITH & CHARITY. The world is crying out and we must listen! We must look deep within, and somehow become more aware of our lives and how we affect those around us.
My son was out for the Premier in AZ last night and how THANKFUL was I to have him come home safe.
Yes, we must continue to reach out and love those around us and try to reach out to those who are in pain.
You help so many Vanessa, with all your BEAUTIFUL pictures and words and it is at these times that I Ssoooo ENJOY visiting your blog to help reestablish that there is still goodness and beauty to enjoy on this tragic and sad day.
Dearest Miss V,
I have been away for so very long, and it is in your stories usually that I find my way back here to blogland. Life seems to hide my computer from me every once in awhile.(Actually it is probablly one of the 5 hatters that live around me, and would rather have dinner and playtime than to lose me in my blog), but I am here for now.
I wanted to let you know how happy I am that you mentioned the Colorado tragedy today. I am so very saddened and I too find myself with tears in my eyes throughout the day, especially when I look at my children.
I think of the mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, and friends that were tragically impacted by this senseless act and my heart just breaks in two. I look at the faces on the victims and listen to the fear and confusion in their voices and wonder if they will ever walk in peace again.
I will be sending out prayers and thoughts as well today and in the days to come. I know many tragedies happen in the course of one day, some we hear about and some we don’t, and even though we cannot reach them all, maybe some of our thoughts and prayers can reach the ones we hear about and we can hope that others’ prayers are reaching those we don’t hear about.
Hope to hear again from you soon.
Wendy from Wonderland
Yes, I am sending many prayers for those victims and their families. When I saw the trailer for that movie I told my husband that it seemed so dark and evil that it made me feel sick in my being. I then told him that I felt that no good would come form this movie. And now I sense how right my feelings were.
Bless you dear V V for gifting us all with your love of life and your joyful willingness to share it in your blog. A 1001 Thank You’s for being unending with your gorgeous faithfulness to joy, beauty, nature, creativity, and living life as art. Your will forces are delightful and so very appreciated by me.
xo -Pinkster
I just logged on to my computer about fifteen minutes ago, and finally stopped viewing the horrific events in Colorado. There are still tears streaming down my face. When are these senseless killings going to end? I am surprised the gunman had access to illegal arms in the first place, and only 24 years old. I think some of these mentally ill persons grow up in a world of unreality. They have steady diets of violent video games and movies and that is what becomes their reality. Plus, some where along the line, they don’t receive enough love. I really think that is part of it. May God have mercy on that young man’s soul, but may justice also be served. And may God comfort the hearts of those who lost loved ones. A very, very sad day in America.
love,
Miss Teresa
Miss Vanessa, I read every sinle one of your beautiful posts, but how would you know if I did not comment. It is the least anyone can do after coming here for that blissful magic fix! So I plan to comment much more.
Your blog is the first place I come to after hearing awful news like the shooting you write of, your stories are the opposite of evil and sadness which helps to balance out the horrible confusion that comes out of this world to slap you suddenly.
Thank you for giving the world such a blissful recluse. X x x
Your dusky peach zinnia and landed butterfly ~ you have such an eye for beauty Vanessa….
Your blog is a serene escape…….
Those poor, innocent people who were only going to the movies for a few hours…….
You described my feelings perfectly. I know no one in the area, but my heart still breaks for them. They’ll be in my prayers for awhile.
I’ve been sick to my stomach all day hearing about the Aurora shooting at the Dark Knight Rises screening. That person is vile and despicable for casually killing people who were captive and excited to watch a film in a theatre. I’m tired of seeing his grinning face on the internet and news. He needs to be squashed like a bug and not given any publicity for his heinous and cowardly act. How about some publicity for the families of the murdered and injured? How about caring about them and not about this piece of crap sorry excuse for a human being. I feel sad for our species.
This was the angry post I put on my facebook page. I went to your blog to seek solace. To look at your beautiful garden and try to find hope again. I can’t fathom what everyone who has been touched by this tragedy is going through. My heart weeps for the innocent victims. It makes me ponder how all the good in the world can never overshadow the one bad. Thanks for your beautiful butterfly pictures Vanessa.
So sad when fun turns into tragedy. It’s the very worst sadness, I think. Thank-you for reminding us to be reflective and to send up prayers for others on this very sad day.
absolutely perfectly said, Miss Vanessa. having a place to visit like this and friends like you make all the horrific things that happen in the world a little easier to bear.
blessings
~*~
Beautiful rainbow Vanessa.
I am saddened by the Colorado shootings too and just can’t understand why someone would do something like this? Have been praying for those victims & families affected all day and hugging my kids & hubs a little bit tighter.
Hugs to you too for being you, and uplifting us all 😉
Jamie 🙂
Oh love love, butterfly love 🖤🖤🖤 I have been greatly missing visiting you…working full-time is tiring this Old Woman out. But it is good, worthy work. Beautiful photos. Beautiful You. **blows kisses** Deb
I woke up this morning to an email from my daughter that said, “Batman was awesome.” Then – then – I read the news. I almost can’t bear it. We don’t live in Colorado. My 26 year old girl went to a midnight showing of Batman and thought it was wonderful. All of those people in that Colorado theatre should have had the same experience. I sat still at the computer and cried. There’s been too many stories like this. It makes me so sad. It truly does affect each of us no matter where we live. God Bless Us ALL.
Kathy
I live in Littleton, Colorado. I am an art teacher at a school known as a Columbine feeder. My students go to Columbine for high school. We are a damaged community. I work with teachers that were students in the Columbine tragedy. They are still in the area working for change. You don’t know how often we go into to lockdown and lockout. We drill constantly for such events. We have been in lockdown for the Deer Creek shooting which my son was in lockdown at Stony Creek Elementary across the street from that school. My husbaned was there trying to get to my son. I was at Leawood Elementary which was where the buses from Columbine came to for parents to find their children after that tragedy. The teachers there were not over Columbine and the helicopters are very upsetting for all for us. Now the Aurora community will know the horror of the helicopters circling for days on end. After the Deer Creek shooting the helicopters went over our houses continously for days. We hate the media helicopters. You hear them in your sleep, you can’t get gaway, even though you know thye are trying to good. I am an artist and an art teacher in the Columbine and Deer Creek communities. I spend part of my life having children run through drills for gunman. In May I got to go through a drill for lockdown in which I had to make first graders 6 and 7 year olds, get in my art closet, full of beautiful supplies to create art, but they had to sit in the dark and be silent until the sheriffs came in and released us. Just a drill, but try to keep six and seven year olds quiet in a scary dark art closet, but this is our life in a damaged community, and today it happened again! Our children have been shot at and put at risk in a place that is supposed to be safe. My heart is broken. I can’t create. I can’t plan. All I can do is bear witness. The drills my students have to go throug our awful and every year a new shooting, weather it’s Evergreen, Columbine, DeerCreek, Southwest mall and now Aurora, we can’t relax, we can’t let up and we our on edge trying to protect our children. My heart is broken, and I head into the 2012/ 2013 school year ready for a year of heavy drills and heavy hearts,
Oh my goodness. I just re-read my post full of typos. Sorry. It’s hard for a teacher to have so many errors, but I am emotional and did not edit my work. Please excuse my errors due to emotions and tears.
Jenny Mulvey
My thoughts and feelings exactly. All we can do is send our love.
Lisa
Saddened and silent prayers for all those people. You just never know where or when….🖤Debi in Canada
Jenny dont worry, I didnt even notice your typos in reading your comment
– it is so intense what is going on in your neck of the woods. I cant
imagine it – how disconcerting on every level – and how disruptive to the human
psyche. How scary and dark….. And, to boot, there is nothing worse
than a heavy sense of fear in the soul. I am so sad for everyone – and
will send up such full thoughts of goodness to you and yours and everyone
effected….
Even here in my pleasant little world – I sat last night and thought about
the shooting and felt a sense of fear and distrust for the unknown and peoples
potential actions.
Its a terrible thing that happened…………..
And, the ripple effects are so awful 🙁
Love, Vanessa
Bless your soul Jenny. I understand how hard that must be. Yet please know in your heat that the art you bring the children is a true gift. Art is the process where their souls can express in freedom. Your gift to them is greater than their time in the closet preparing for an emergency. What a wonderful teacher you must be.
With respect – xo
Spell check turned in your heart to in your heat.
Well said, Vanessa. Makes you want to hug those around you a little closer because it could have been one of them lost. Sending love to you.
Heart breakingly sad. x
Oh Vanessa, I wish I lived in the fairie gypsy worlds you create. This world is just too hard sometimes…Hugs to you and your furbabies.
Thank you for this thoughtful post, Vanessa. I am saddened and feel the world has an illness. The number of mass shootings seems to increase each year. I don’t feel the media is trying to do good. They love this stuff and they love to wallow in it and invade the privacy of all those suffering. We need to understand what makes a person, who was once a baby (after I had my children, I saw everyone as an innocent baby)and had a mother, and had teachers, etc. – what turns them into someone who could do this? We need to understand, so we can try to prevent it.
I understand the Batman movie has a lot of violence in it, with one scene of a bomb being placed in someone’s mouth. There are young children going to this movie with their parents. They are absorbing this, becoming numb to it. We are being desensitized. We need more peace, love and beauty. That is why your blog is such a gift. Thank you for this gift, Vanessa!
I’ve followed you for a few years….I have poor Internet service so its hard for me to post comments or my own blog but I love your free spirit and always check in on you 🙂
See?lost the connection! Hugging my babies extra close today….love my canyon home. Safe.
Precious.
A fortress against the world.
Yes Vanessa….yes. Love and Light being sent to everyone involved. I have had candles lit for the last two days for them.
I heard the news on the radio while on my way to work. It was and is absolutely tragic. It makes everything that I want or think is important seem so irrelevant.
It is a horrible time in our present moment.
What a beautifully heartfelt post, Vanessa. Thank you for your thoughtful words and relevant photos. Butterflies are so full of hope and beauty. Gentle spirits they are – flying free in the sun among the flowers.
Oh, Vanessa, I’m sorry that I read every single new post, and never comment! I feel sort of beyond words, usually, after reading your magical words and seeing your beautiful photos – like anything I could write would be insignificant. But then when I read this post, I realized that you don’t know we’re reading if we don’t say something! So I wanted to tell you how much I love all your posts, my #1 favorite blog!
I live in the mountains of Colorado, and when I read your words about “the long hot summer”, it made me think about how short summers are here, and how much we savor the warmth of every single day. I try to grow a few vegetables in our tiny yard, but we’re not past the last frost until around June 1, and by late August – mid September, we could have our first freeze. So here I whine a little in my mind about the long cold winters… but that’s when we love to visit Tucson. Last year in January we spent a whole month in a campground, soaking up the sunshine and hiking in the desert.
Tina of the canyon (above)… I know the comfort of your fortress against the world.
Thank you for the lovely thoughts about the sad news in our state. It’s so hard to comprehend… we must remember to appreciate one another, and to treasure every day.
Between the butterflys and the horrors — that’s where most of us live well knowing that it could be either, and/or at any time, any second.
Peace.
This is how I’ve felt since we lost my father.in.law 6/24. So much no longer has the joy & meaning it did before. I know I will get that back, will get back to me and find another new normal in time. And mom had a stroke back at the end of February, just had hernia surgery day before yesterday. My elderly sister.in.law is now on her way back to FL after spending the last few weeks with us here for the funeral. This is the first time in a long time I’ve been able to treat myself to my favorite blogs, but know I do think of you often and miss your beautiful, inspiring self when I’m away.